Once upon a time, there was a great country founded on the principle if you worked really hard you would have the opportunity to succeed. There was no guarantee you would succeed only that you would have such an opportunity. It worked exceedingly well for some time. Some men and women built businesses in the large towns and cities and others went into the wilderness to forge out land they could call their own. Some of them got rich and others did not fair as well. However, no one blamed the rich people for the misfortunes of the poor.
At some point, the rich people in the north of the country got angry with the rich people in the south and before long a half a million Americans died of their wounds. A tall homely man in a black hat came along to lead the rich people of the north. In the process, he appointed a drunk to be the head of the northern army and before the booze ran out the southern people were whipped.
Now should have come the time for healing but an actor decided to kill the tall homely man with the black hat and his successor proved to be corrupt and the rich people of the north were able to make sure only those people who were on the side of the north could become rich. So many of the lazy people who lived in the north put their few belongings in carpet bags and headed south where they were given the money and property of those who used to own it.
The successor to the man in the black hat was not re-elected but in his stead, the drunk who led the army of the north was put in his place. He was just as corrupt as his predecessor and so no healing took place during his presidency. And the lazy northern poor were still given what the rich southern people had worked hard to get. About this time many people discovered that hard work was not the secret to success but rather knowing someone in power was the secret to success. Why work if someone would give you something just because you supported them?
For some time, after that, no great leader stepped forward or if they did they were not elected. I believe this because I don’t know anyone who has any idea what the next 6 or 7 presidents did while they were in office. Then along came someone who is best known for his charge up San Juan Hill. He decided that corporations were evil and if you had a lot of money it should be taken away from you and given to those that did not have so much money. You no longer had to be a rich southerner for the government to divest you of your money, you just needed to be rich.
I am not sure what the next president did although he is best known for being so fat that someone had to pry him out of the White House bathtub.
Then along came what we would today call the first real socialist president. This great American found even better ways to steal from those who had as well as those who did not have. He enacted the Income Tax so that everyone that had any money of any kind would have to give it to the government. And he also created the Federal Reserve so he could manipulate how much the money he stole from the people would be worth.
The nice thing was that you did not have to be Republican or Democrat to be evil, you just had to be president. For the corrupt man that took the place of the tall homely man with the black hat was a Democrat, the drunk that took his place was a Republican as was the one who charged up San Juan Hill and then the income tax creator was a Democrat.
So until this point in history, both parties were really good at taking money from some people and giving it to other people. Of course, most of the money they took from others went into their own pockets or the pockets of their friends and family.
And another funny thing happened back then. The members of the House and Senate used to work together, usually for their own good and to the detriment of the people but work together none-the-less.
So this gets you up to date on the first hundred years or so of the history of the once upon a time nation. Frankly, I am too worn out to finish the story. Perhaps some of you other storytellers could take over for me.