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It was a slow news day over at The New York Times, so they started brainstorming some kind of story to put together.

Somebody threw out the impeachment standby. President Donald Trump seems to be sliding out from under that one like he’s made of Teflon, because he hasn’t committed any crimes.

Then came a promising suggestion. A book that two of their reporters just published could be used to call for impeaching Justice Kavanaugh. Suddenly, they had something to write about.

Times reporters Robin Pogrebin and Kate Kelly wrote a book about last year’s confirmation circus called “The Education of Brett Kavanaugh: An Investigation.” Conveniently, the Times published an excerpt in today’s “Sunday Review.” They made sure to print the part relating to debunked accuser Deborah Ramirez.

“During the winter of her freshman year, a drunken dormitory party unsettled [Ramirez] deeply. She and some classmates had been drinking heavily when, she says, a freshman named Brett Kavanaugh pulled down his pants and thrust his penis at her, prompting her to swat it away and inadvertently touch it. Some of the onlookers, who had been passing around a fake penis earlier in the evening, laughed.”

Despite the fact that it never happened, Kavanaugh was confirmed because the stories turned out to be nothing but liberal fantasies. Because everybody knew that the story had been shredded during the hearings, the Times reporters added a little something to bring it back to life. They call it a “fresh allegation.”

A classmate of Kavanaugh’s, Max Stier, suddenly popped out of nowhere to allege he saw Kavanaugh pull his pants down at another party. They weren’t expecting conservatives to notice that Stier was one of Hillary Clinton’s defense attorneys.

The reporters got really furious when their opinion editor accidentally took the wind out of their sails, by downplaying their overblown and made up charges as “harmless fun.”

The Times “opinion account” tweeted, “Having a penis thrust in your face at a drunken dorm party may seem like harmless fun. But when Brett Kavanaugh did it to her, Deborah Ramirez says, it confirmed she didn’t belong at Yale in the first place.” Liberal heads instantly started exploding.

Not only were they mad that their own company would have the nerve to call sexual assault “harmless fun,” the tweet confirmed that Ramirez didn’t belong at Yale. They deleted the tweet and issued an apology but the damage has been done.

It wasn’t long before President Trump took to twitter to give the world his two cents. “Brett Kavanaugh should start suing people for libel, or the Justice Department should come to his rescue. The lies being told about him are unbelievable. False Accusations without recrimination. When does it stop? They are trying to influence his opinions. Can’t let that happen!”

President Trump continued his rant against the left leaning media, blaming “radical left Democrats” and “LameStream Media” for threatening impeachment. Trump sees it as a way of trying to get leverage over the Justice to sway his court opinions. “They want to scare him into turning Liberal!”

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